sensible nonsense

When the lights go red

2010-02-12T14:04:00.000-08:00

The dream of never be
the light i never see
life will i live or lie to myself
dreams aside in a shelf;

Broken pieces like shattered glass
all over my soul, bleed
there's a silence in my heart
and the sounds breed
a notion of motionless surround,
like dark flakes of snow
in a winter my life has seen
searched but never found
the truth behind the charade;

the dream that i once was
in my sleep at night
has no sense of direction
nor of any fight
living was easier when i hated my life

thoughts i hear but can't say
sounds of freedom scream a way
choose it we may not, now
twenty years hence, as i lay
when i look back at today
wonder what i would say
did I do it my way?

The lonewolf paradox and diminishing marginal progress

2010-01-22T10:16:00.000-08:00

The fact that we judge people the moment we see them, that's what's changing the world. It works something like Nash equilibrium but not exactly, let me explain: We judge and so do others. Knowing that, we decide to present ourselves better (or so we think). We change ourselves. So does everyone and in the end everyone loses their identity. Think about it, we're always with someone.

Now that should mean that loner's retain their individuality making them special. They do not try to fit in, i.e. sugarcoat themselves and thus, are alone. Now suppose the world recognizes that these people are special. Everyone would want to be with them, to learn what makes them special. Now what happens? The loner now starts changing, others try being like him. Thus making everyone lose their identity even more.

Next i attempt to understand the paradox and it's effect on human progress.

Special people do special things, get recognition and make money, in short "succeed". Consider n number of special people in the world, and x number of loners (x less than n). Of course loners are special (refer the proof above). So these x people succeed. The point when you realize this in your life you're already full. Thus converted loners do not succeed. Here we introduce a concept called a "Natural Loner". (This concept would be elaborated in the next level)

So naturals succeed. Popularity follows success. Around so many people, loners start losing their edge. At the speed this happens, we should have stopped making progress by 2020(random estimate).

We're in a vicious spiral. The only way to prevent this is to mind your business. Do not bother others unless of course you work at a consult where you're paid to do exactly that. It's lonely at the top, now beat it.

Self

2009-07-07T12:46:00.000-07:00

Before these crowded streets
the silence of the night that prevails
the yellow moon, as if swollen with tears
it wept all day, in the sun
the loner that walks these dunes
knows no patience
sees no gain, vanity
all in vain

Winds that talk a language
surround him till,
he understands
all that is in the past is
but the present back in time;

Lost in the dream
ever prevalent sounds of yesterday
haunt his soul,
nightmares of sorts he fights
wakes up to his sordid ways
gets on with his chores
breaks off with his past
till the sun sets on him
like yesterday night

Hate and disgust

2009-06-06T13:32:00.000-07:00

Sick and demented me!

Of idiosyncrasies and endorphins

2009-05-21T11:45:00.000-07:00

So much comes and goes, so much for a beating heart, a numb brain and some coffee. When your life's been given a 360 it's difficult to wake up, reality might, at any point come and catch up. What you want you don't know, what you've got you don't know what to do with. Maturity is the belief in your experiences, judgment an illusion of choice. Nothing you do or ever did.

The mundane sun that rises, a trigger for life, no longer. It seems to insinuate at monotonicity that is life, the life we need, the same that kills. Compulsion is a feeling that is inside, obsession comes along. You do not understand yourself, the world judges you, but how? you wonder. Every little thing we do is scrutinized for we do it deliberately, that is what you think? We're not alone though, trust me.

All of us want different things from the life that is in control, yet we generalize. The irony of human behavior is the variation we see in people. There is no collective behavior, there is just acquired taste. This notion of similarity causes misinterpretation and as a result dissatisfaction.

Halt and think, why do i keep going this way?

Endorphins, the "hope" messengers, the illusion that it is. Time heals, endorphins doing the back-end work.

In addition to decreased feelings of pain, secretion of endorphins leads to feelings of euphoria, modulation of appetite, release of sex hormones, and enhancement of the immune response.

You're overcome, no more pain.

for (int x = 0; x < 5; x++)
{
  
   x = 2;
}

वक्त ने कर डाला है बनता धार हू!

2009-05-01T06:24:00.000-07:00

Time stops for nobody, we're all nobodies in the greater scheme of things, and thus time goes on.
Confused is the state of mind when you wonder about things out of your control, you find yourself in a place where you're alone amongst a bunch of friends, disconnected, enervated. Life provides a stage where everyone who wishes, can perform, success is a decision you can't make or change.

Every now and then there are phases of introspection. Whenever you halt to look back, you see nothing, nothing that excited you, nothing that was inspiring, nothing. And then you know something's missing, you're as stable as you'd like to be, still not happy. The uneasiness never lets go of you, mind and body.

There is momentary happiness, when you forget all, all that you've left behind, all that's left you behind. Forgetful happyness, little drops of dew, ignorance is bliss, apathy don't care.

Achievement dampens progress, there is pressure to perform! Maturity is the mother of all disheartening. Who's the daddy! :)

O pardesi.................!

कोई ये कैसे बताये की वो तनहा क्यों है - कैफी आज़मी

2009-04-01T12:34:00.000-07:00

दिले बरबाद से निकला नही अब तक कोई
एक लुटे घर पे दिया करता है दस्तक कोई
आस जो टूट गई फ़िर से बंधाता क्यों है
येही दुनिया है तो फ़िर ऐसी ये दुनिया क्यों है।।

Captivity unkown, a dream overblown!

2009-03-21T08:24:00.000-07:00

Nothing recurs, it's our brain's attempt at finding patterns. No behavior is consistent as such or in comparison. Our minds have been trained a certain way, still we think different. Everyone has their influences, growing up is all about that. No two people can be brought up exactly the same, a thought experiment should be enough to validate, no two people were born the same.

Language has consistency, words have meanings, sentences do too. It still is largely dependent on interpretation, how we interpret things is again a reflection of our thought process. Control could drive such behavioral patterns, only if we had enough of it. Lack of control stems out of randomness that we are not able to interpret because we're too busy looking for patterns.

Isn't it a vicious loop that we're all tangled up in?

Emotions take the better of our brains, all clarity is then lost. Deception is a mere misinterpretation caused by this haziness. What we see is a picture we make for ourselves and is at times far from what is real. We believe what we want to believe, four leaf clover. In search of consistency we often fall prey to what is now famously known as "Retrospective Distortion" and the triplet of opacity.

We've not been given a world to live in but an illusion of reality. Love and hate are conspiracies that we're all a part of, to blur our vision, to keep us away from something we do not know.

Surreal reality, a living nightmare.

A state of trance: Dance when you get the chance

2009-02-23T11:31:00.001-08:00

Life presents opportunities here and there.
Staying prepared might not be the answer, the complete answer at least.
Your fate is what you make of it, rest is regret.

I'd like to ask you to live and learn but then you'll end up playing catch-up. At some point you need to DO something, unique. That is what makes successful people, they make opportunities. But then there are people out there with no ambitions, really, there are.

Aint' no sunshine

2009-02-02T13:08:00.000-08:00

Darkness is a glimpse of the inside. We're all struggling to hold onto the light, too hard, we fight on. Life is what you'd call the passing thought of a crystal ball. It can't think, but we can see.

The sound of the fan in the background is so annoying at times you wish there were no mosquitoes.

Strum that old guitar, hum as song or two, some Beatles number, what was it - Love me do. The pendulum swings your way at times, the other way otherwise. These thoughts are a mere indication of life, the darkness is all too powerful, there is light outside but the darkness is inside you. When the continuity of a sine wave seems too cliched, listen to the thumping of your heart. It is too continuous yet so discrete. Every heartbeat is a heartbeat away from another. Life is such.

Ever wondered what control you have over your life? The light is an illusion, it is blinding, it blinds. You can't see, you keep going. Is purpose a reason for life or reason a purpose of life or nothing at all. Realize what lies inside, the real you's hide.

All you see around is staged, all a big setup. There is only enough information for you to search, not enough information for you to find.

Life is not fair, get used to it.

Appearances are deceptive, do not look in the mirror

2009-01-28T11:22:00.000-08:00

There is something about the winters, love em or leave em.
Summers the same, spent longing for winters

When the air stands still nothing hangs, just floats
only a stare across the street
a sound across the ocean
invites
in the distance
a woman cries
makes for wonder
what could be?

the twig in the storm, flies, it were a bee
going around now
only to be calm like the sea
carried by winds far and wide
settle eventually roadside

The road lies ahead
bare and alive
no soul
lively on the whole
stories it has seen many
story it must hear this time

When winters come and the air is still
the twigs of distant land
occupy the road
life has it's ways, it kills
every year there are those winter chills

The young and their restless search for love

2008-12-27T11:18:00.000-08:00

Youth is about searching, life is about finding, finding out, that the search is never ending. All our lives we search for something that is perfect, that what makes you feel complete, makes you happy. After all, life is the pursuit of happyness.

We're too used to looking back and wondering mmm.... what could have, and there in lies the difference between the young and the not. The young live in the present, this moment is about certainty and optimism, this moment you're on the verge of a breakthrough. Right this moment you're gonna meet the one.

All you need to be is the "cool kid".

Young does not mean carefree, just the things you care about are different. Homework, being the "cool kid", not getting caught while doing the "cool things" and of course not being the smartest nerd. Great recipe for nightmares.

The young at times are not prepared to handle all of this, causing chaos in their nascent lives. Youth can be confusing, challenging and at times smothering. Love is what keeps youth alive, the hope is that they would find what they are looking for and a mere inkling of such, can infuse a lifetime worth of energy .

The young write about love, the experienced talk about the love they had/never had. The young talk about the king in all his glory , never forgetting to mention his love story. A story told so passionately, a story so enthralling , a tale so involved you'd fall in love.

Funny as it may sound the young seem to know what they want better than the experienced. The experienced have a way of complicating things, spiders caught in their own web, a web so complex even string theory couldn't claim to explain it. The young look for love, out of nothing else to do at times, at times out of being young.

The young define fashion when the experienced are too worried about getting outmoded. The young life is but a throw of caution to the wind, roller skating towards/away, against the wind. Amidst all, the young stand tall, less worried about living, more about how large.

Finally, youth is about purity of heart and sanctity of life. Every emotion is heartfelt and every effort sincere, every moment is a lifetime and every friend is dear. There are no materials there is no greed and if you've never felt this way, well, you were never YOUNG.

Not so long ago

2008-12-23T09:45:00.000-08:00

Not so long ago, confused thoughts had you.
Not so long ago the dreams were still a reality.
Not so long ago kites were winter.
Not so long ago love was all around.
Not so long ago you wanted it all , you had it all.
Not so long ago you were younger.

Crazy as it may sound more than age experience catches up. You seem to have done a lot, if not all and this, precludes a lot of possibilities. The feasibility of dreams is like the dream of feasibility, comes and goes in the bathroom. Most certainly some materialize, almost certainly differently.

Dreams still come, no longer same. The preoccupied syndrome has them. Try thinking out of the box, I'm sure you'll spend ten minutes imagining "thinking" out of a literal "box". Doesn't matrix seem like a good explanation?

Let's talk about love. Keeps readers interested.

Back in the day love was romance. There is nothing like young love, is there?

"The girl two seats away is worth two detentions."

The Lisa Berlinis, the Winnie Coopers all part of the Wonder Years, all a phase of time. When 2+2 was a difficult ball game, you knew what you cared about. Two seats away, matters of life and death were discussed. One look was love another and you could die. Hero of the class for one glance? Love is crazy, so is youth.

(Apologies for the abrupt ending, it's not. Will update sooner. Stay tuned.)

Don't you miss it? Time to revisit some of those memories.

Unconditional love, unconditional quest for LOVE!

I think therefore i am! But what?

2008-11-21T12:57:00.000-08:00

As i lie in bed, blank as my mind can be, I think. What in life must a man do?
"You've been taking things as they come far too long. Time to grab hold of life by the neck but, what must you do that is so different". Every moment of your waking life was spent trying to do things differently, yet everything's the same. Eccentric, must you try to be?? You look for patterns in vagueness and then worry why everything falls within a pattern. Must you be like this??

Did you ever wonder if you were a part of someone's plan, that what surrounds you is................ what is it?

Why can't you see beyond, beyond what you know already, beyond what can't be felt but, can only be taught. He told you this, they told you that, this you read, that you think you saw someone do. What did you discover?? Right about now, you're about to, DISCOVER!

Don't be so caught up, give yourself some time
don't worry about this, you're only going to mime
someone else wrote the script for this,
play your part , "ignorance is bliss".

pearls of wisdom, please return, in kind!

2008-11-21T11:17:00.000-08:00

Seek not, what you can't find,
Keep seeking till, you can find

Have NO fear, faith NO blind
it's not in your system
until it's got your mind

Piece after piece
you will, if you find
attain peace of mind

beginner's luck or a sitting duck?

2008-09-09T10:21:00.000-07:00

Time has more value to add. PERIOD. It is also, probably, the hardest way to learn. That day he learnt it the hard way. Confused? A moment and you'd know.
A club (disco for most), some place he'd never been before, was full of those weird somethings. It was all a puff of smoke, smokin hot. Shocker to say the least. Being a man can be tough, you can't help but appreciate god's creations. Heaven besides you. Only one problem. Guess what? Our man was not Johny Travolta, it wasn't the 70s, it wasn't even a saturday. No fever. He was as bad as they came.

Wait a sec, lets travel back in time, what did he tell her? The risk - remember!!!
Man had heard from friends of a place called a "disc", lots. Crazy women, sorry, women gone crazy! He knew her and her alone, she was his only chance to get in. So he did. Ask her out for a night out at the Roxburry's! That is what this place was called, believe me, you.

Ya, so dance he had to. Shakin a leg? he was sure he'd break a couple but what the heck. He tried. (Mad laughter surrounded him). She was laughing. She had never seen anything so bad. Strike 1. Strike 2. Strike 3. you're out!

Foolish is the man who believes in drowning his pain in alcohol. Shot after shot. When you're that gone, you start assuming a lot of things. But the truth was that he was better when drunk. At dancing. So he danced. Song after another, shot after another. She was sweet as usual, dancing with him, trying to catch up rather, it went on like forever, he couldn't stand till.

Ted Mosby's mother was right, nothing good ever happens after 2 a.m. She was there, he was there. She was standing, he was not. And she was (there is no single word for what she felt).
She looked more worried than anything else.

He whispered something into her ear. Shouldn't have! Damn the time, damn the alcohol.

Stick around, more to come.

Long time no sea???

2008-08-29T11:18:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I've been in bangalore for quite sometime now , away from the sea, away from Chennai. And to be frank, I don't miss any of it. Long since i wrote here, also. A combination of all these has made me, in conjunction with boredom, log on. It's gonna be good. It better be good. Time to make a statement. Things happen to people I happen to things and people. How to save a life playing in the background, I begin to tell you a story. A story for the contemporary, whatever that means.

He knew it wasn't a good idea. The optimist in him, insisted on going ahead. Risk averseness can only take you so far, or so he'd heard. He was going to take the risk. Some years back this guy knew no fear, only FEAR!!!! He'd worked hard to get where he was and though it felt great, there was always this , this fear. WHAT IF?
But things were different now. A confident man, he was out to take the world on.

Wait a second. How did this happen??
Realisations! He realised his potential, or so to say , other people's lack of it. This was his ego's fall back insurance policy. Nothing now would dishearten him.

Just for the curious, he was this ordinary guy, just more talented. He loved his folks, friends and the occassional tryst with the happy stuff. There were a lot of women in his life, just no woman. Not much of a dancer, not much of a music person. He'd just do what he was good at, there wasn't anyone better probably. He was getting used to the nice easy way of living.

Now you're wondering what made him want to take this risk. Well, for most part of the time that's gone by, since he first thought about this, he himself wasn't so sure. But like i said, he is just another person, like you, like me. He gets curious. And his mind wanders places wondering things. So the explaination goes more like "I was meant to do this".

He'd known her for quite sometime now. They were like nut and bolt. Only not bolts. Complete nuts. They'd go out all the time. They'd be so into each other they'd be oblivious to things around. Homo Sapiens have a problem though. They need to reach a conclusion. They just need to know of what lies ahead. And here's where things go miserably wrong. He'd been thinking about it. And now he was gonna ask her.

Stay hooked, more to come.

From here to eternity is the other way round

2008-03-18T23:26:00.000-07:00

Scene 3:
Take a look around. You are above it all, literally. There is absolutely nothing around and there is everything around. Look down into the nothingness and see a whole world out there. Close your eyes, step forward, let go. Into the great wide open, you go. There is no turning back and until that rope comes into the picture, well, you're flying, only falling. Picture a world coming crashing down. Yeah, that. And does it all scare me?? No. I will do it again. And again.
More blood rushes into your head than has ever. Tom Petty and all his talk about free falling, i know he wasn't talking about this. Probably the only time you'll realize that 9.81 is a big number, it might even motivate some to loose those extra pounds. No, there isn't a jerk. The impact is well distributed over your body for you to really feel it.Still wondering???
Lets travel back in time. Lets see how it all happened.
Scene 1:
Strangers in a strange land. Four's a crowd?? Good enough i'll say. Time to kill? IITians? Lets quiz.
A late realization that winners get free "lets save it for later". Winning isn't everything? Is it? Especially when you don't want to win the above not mentioned thing. Too bad you know the right answer. Too bad, you win.
Scene 2 :
Some guy: "Strap em on. You're next."
Me: "Aye aye captain" (Not scared at all)
Platform goes up, so do you. Some instructions. Your first attempt and you realize, it is not easy to push yourself off that height. You hold on like for dear life.More instructions. You close your eyes.

Screu tha univarse

2007-12-27T05:26:00.000-08:00

I hate internet cafes. PERIOD.

Hay! The sun is shining

2007-12-07T22:54:00.000-08:00

So, the sun shines. Happiness is here to stay. Sometimes you wish it was raining and sometimes you wish it was sunny. Those are the times when you know you are not hundred percent happy. But, when you love the weather for every little nuance, you know you're happy - 100%. When you can't stop smiling to yourself - 100% happy. Brilliant music adds to the mood -Rahet Fateh Ali Khan and the song O re Piya. You feel like meeting more people. Definitely, the instance where you overcame an obstacle, helped. :) The days of selling the bone density scanners are long gone coz this part of my life is called Happyness.
Four years at IIT and i'm loving it. Have met absolutely brilliant guys and even more brilliant friends. Look back and you'll say - I couldn't ask for better friends. I've always believed and still do - people make IIT. The place without the kind of people that are here would be a pathetic shell of what it was supposed to be or what it is now. Anyways, let us not get into any arguments over anything. Lets stay happy!

Let's sell credit cards!

Reflections

2007-11-08T08:16:00.000-08:00

Sitting at the edge of the lake
my reflection staring back at me
trying to see through me
to see what i hide;
The mask that i wear
is all too revealing
making things apparent
little concealing
i will run away no more
i can't anymore
my shadow stalks me
my past haunts me
the burden of my history
and the uncertainty of the future
makes it all too hazy
a hope lives on though
makes us last the day
hope is what we have
hope is all we have
to make us last this day

Broken wings

2007-10-30T23:45:00.000-07:00

The bird in the cage
it stares outside,
wondering what it'll be like
high it'll fly , higher it'll try
beyond the stars and into the sky
live its life the way it likes
free from shackles and bounds alike

Night falls and the bird sings
songs of freedom and stories of kings
suddenly
sadness dawns and the bird sings
looks down at its broken wings
with these broken wings how does it fly
it makes the little bird cry

the day dawns and brings new hope
gives its life more scope
it'll dream again
that it'll fly again

Finally the day arrives ,
no fetters no bounds
it is free to go anywhere it wants
take those broken wings and fly away
all this while it has waited
for this moment to come its way

It tries and stops
tries again and realizes
it can't fly
it can't even try
change is scary
scarier is life
bird sings again
no longer dreams
never was it tied down
the fetters were never there
and they were always there
in its mind

Random variables in argand plane

2007-09-12T03:21:00.000-07:00

What makes some things cliched, the others not? Excessive usage leading to loss of impact?? Why are somethings more frequently used than others? Questions , answers to all of which lie in one universal truth. We are all alike. We experience similar things , think in similar ways and when we need to express our feelings we use similar expressions, expressions so exact that anything else would lose the efficacy.Thus are born cliches. I shall start with a cliched thought then.

There are three kinds of people in this world - the believers, the pragmatists and then there are the confused- stuck between the two.The believers are the ones that have read all those stories and believe in them and happy endings or rather the happy ever after pseudo endings.Their lives are mostly influenced by beliefs which though idealistic are impractical.But this breed of humans is extremely rare. We can also look at it as phases in life. Childhood would be the perfect example of such a state of existence. Unfazed , pure souls oblivious to the truth called life.

Then there are the pragmatists. The calculated man. Everything he does is planned and is supposed to lead to a material goal, the only thing he believes in. It can be anything from money to fame to carnal pleasures.Though closer to the truth such a person is far removed from feelings like love. Everything he does has to lead to something.

Thankfully (or not) most of us fall into the third category, Confused. We have read our stories but life as we see it does not seem even close to what was portrayed in them. Close to truth and feelings alike we don't know what to believe in what not to. The same old question haunts us - To be or not to be! Our lives are full of cliches. We try to be really objective in everything we do but rarely do we succeed . Our lives are but a fight for relevance. All our actions are driven by this single factor - fame can be associated with relevance to society , Promotions with relevance to job , etc. Existence has to lead to relevance i.e. if we exist we have to remain relevant. What we feel is a complex mixture of emotions and objectivism , the two that are as far apart as probably the north and south poles. Like the poles can't ever meet so can't feelings and objectivism.

Struggle for relevance remains the second most important activity next only to struggle for existence. Though most human action is still based on instincts we have over the years trained our instincts to meet the objective i.e to remain relevant at all times. All human fears can be related to the above mentioned. Fear of dying can be related to struggle of existence, all the other fears are in some way or the other related to the struggle for relevance.

All said and done we are still mortals. All the struggle ends sometime. The greater question is why struggle when you know it'll all end sometime. Possibly because you want people to remember you? There is no end to this. But this is the end of this post of mine(very abrupt i know). Cogitate over it.

I've been tagged!!

2007-08-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

Now that spanky and debanjan have tagged me I have to abide by the rules.

The rules are as follows:
1. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.
2. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts.
3. Players should tag 8 other people and notify them they have been tagged.

Let me open my book for you........

1) Although it is pretty evident i'll still like to state it coz its a fact - I can't stand people making fun of me. So much so that i sometimes believe they are making fun of me even when they are not. I have learnt to take it lightly but somethings still make me really angry.

2) I am a worried soul, think too far ahead into the future,give up on things when i find there are people better than me and take up new things. I strongly believe that just a lil extra can make impossible, possible.

3) I used to be a whiner in school. I used to take umbrage at any trivial comment about myself and cry like a baby. I stopped doing it only in sixth or seventh standard.

4) I had a tendency of imitating tennis stars when i was very young. I used to pull my sleeves up very high like Steffi Graf and once i saw Sampras pull at his shorts and i started doing that. My teacher called my parents one day and asked em to make me get rid of this habit. Teachers on several occasions called my parents to the school just to tell them that i was really talkative.

5) I used to watch "Bay watch" and "The bold and the beautiful" and similar stuff (X files , Wonder years) when i was really young.I remember watching "Bold and the beautiful and Santa Barbara" in 1993.I was seven then. Strangely my parents never said anything . I dint understand a thing back then but I had this penchant for such shows.

6) I like to be the centre of attraction, sometimes try too hard to attract attention by making vague statements, trying to be funny. I want everyone to like me and the fact that this is not possible makes me sick.

7)I am a really social being. I like making more and more friends and invariably i end up making friends with most people i meet except for girls. I am just not comfortable around them. An all boys school followed by IIT does not help.

8) Once my sister made me wear a frock and go around the house . My mom got the shock of her life. I make a horrible girl btw. Around the same time I tasted booze for the first time. A friend of my dad used to come and drink at our place and one day he offered me a drink saying it was "Sharbat". This guy even gave me "gutka" but i refused.

I tag: Baille, Lace, Pinky, Gayatri, KV, Makam,Niladri,GK.

The man who couldn't write a song

2007-07-31T19:26:00.000-07:00

So the other day i tried writing a song. Shouldn't be that difficult, right? I mean a few words here, few there, and a bit of rhyme but when you really get down to writing a song you find you are at a loss for words. Hundreds of songs cross your mind and you realise most of them are really dumb. You put pen on paper and the word "BABY" pops out of your preoccupied freakin mind. "Baby" should be given the title "The old faithful" because whenever a composer finds himself in trouble with lyrics, he uses it conveniently to fit his rhyme scheme, be it Led Zep with "Babe i'm gonna leave you", Jim Morisson with "Come on baby light my fire" or Britney spears with "Oh baby baby". So i put it down. Some start. Then you wonder what your first line should be. Again, hundreds of songs cross your mind and you realise 90% of the songs you know are about love. Big trouble. I have to write about something else.Nothing mundane. Something out of this world. Something profound. No patriotic songs - only for the reason that i can't say anything that hasn't been said before in praise of this great country of ours.So i look around for inspiration. Wait a minute . What profound thing can follow "BABY"?? ERASE.

Most popular songs are not well written to say the least. How important are the lyrics then? Here's something from the movie "Music and Lyrics".

"A melody is like seeing someone for the first time. The physical attraction. Sex. But then, as you get to know the person, that's the lyrics. Their story. Who they are underneath. It's the combination of the 2 that makes it magical. "

And when you have Drew Barrymore writing the song for you , it is all the more better , a song in itself.

I frankly find Metal lyrics way better than any of the pop lyrics. I mean who could think of something like

"Take a look to the sky just before you die
It's the last time you will
Blackened roar massive roar fills the crumbling sky
Shattered goal fills his soul with a ruthless cry
Stranger now, are his eyes, to this mystery
Hears the silence so loud
Crack of dawn, all is gone except the will to be
Now they will see what will be, blinded eyes to see"

So off i go looking for my Metal cds. I listened to metal songs all day that day but to no avail. Since then i have written first four lines of some three love songs - horrible i tell you. I guess my stream of consciousness is too earthy to come up with profound lyrics. I am not gonna give up on it though , in the hope that one day i'll be able to purge my soul and write something exceptional.

P.S : I'll definitely finish the three songs i have started.If people show some interest i might even post it here.

Adios!

Happyness- A pursuit but at what cost!

2007-06-28T05:13:00.000-07:00

You wake up one fine day and realise nothing's the same. All you had dreamed of might come true one day but it only "might". You have no idea what future has in store for you, but this is not what is different about this day. You are worried about your future - that's different. All the efforts that have got us here are asking for the "return on investment". Let's stop to ponder over a small thing. Why are we worried?? As they say -"when time comes , we'll deal with it" but no one really knows the "time". May be the time is now, may be just may be it'll never come.May be you'll survive the day, may be you won't. The only thing we can hope to do is the "right thing" but then who knows what's right and what's not.Only as the future unfolds we'll know what we did some time back was right or not. Life is but a game where you take a lot of chances and hope that you win.Why win? What is it that everyone wants? Happiness.It is a subjective thing. People relate it to different things - money, fame,status,etc etc.Our perception of happiness also changes over time.Probably now you wish for all of the above and that's your definition of happiness but all this comes at a cost. You need to sacrifice one thing for another.You need to decide.

Decision making is probably the toughest thing to do in the world especially when everything in your life depends on one decision.You stand at the crossroads wondering where each road may take you. You try to learn from other people's experiences and act in a way as to emulate all the successful ones but this need not work out. When you were kids how you wished you were older ,now you wish you could stay young forever, that you could hold on to this moment forever, that you never had to make any decisions, times running out, you are getting older , nothing's the same.

I can't breathe. Chills - Up and down my spine.

Right now! This is the time! Make or break!
Confusion is the order of the day.
Living on hope
Hoping to live
waitin to see
see what future has for us
waitin...............
for eventually you'll be happy
for once
all you've done will make sense
for once
you'll be loved by all
For eventually this pursuit will end.

Inspiration : Pursuit of Happyness - the movie.
Life

So long!

Jhoom baraabar- surely !(read : shuuerly) .

2007-06-20T00:26:00.000-07:00

They said it couldn't get any worse, it unfortunately did. You put two superstars, one wannabe superstar and one trying ever so hard to make people realise he still exists and what do you get - a disaster or rather a catastrophe(disaster would be an understatement).All this from a director/producer who has been the best in the business since the time of yore and at a time when the Indian film industry is actually looking to make sensible movies(ofcourse exceptions are there - certain superhero reincarnates making friends with aliens- a complete Indianized masala of ET and Superman. ).
Spoiler warning - What follows can't possibly ruin your movie watching experience even if you choose to watch the movie after reading this because it is simply a bunch of bull shit. Or possibly there exists a greater picture where it'll all make sense. If the director is a believer in existentialism then surely this movie is a masterpiece coz the whole movie is nothing but an exsitentialist joke. It asks one the basic questions

Why??? - Why are you watching this? don't you have better things to do??
What???- What is the reason for our existence - call such crap -"entertainment"???
How??? - How did you get here- where did it all go wrong??

What is certainly evident in all the movies that are made today is the fact that all the people in bollywood watch a lot of hollywood movies but what they do not realise is that the common man has also been watching a lot of hollywood movies. Moreover these filmmakers are under a constant scrutiny by the media (thus keeping the Indian citizen informed).
Let us do an experiment - Here we will try to show that mixing two good things need not necessarily lead to a better thing. For instance, take the movie "Scream" - a Wes Craven masterpiece and a bit of Psycho and a pinch of Crush, A concoction of sorts- you get "Kuch to hai" An ekta kapoor disaster. Let us analyse here what went worng.
Three really good movies combine to give a disaster- difficult to understand. Now bring the Indian soap opera queen into the picutre, still difficult??? Add a bunch of horrendous actors, still ???The Plot - A firecracker that never burst,a sissy in the guise of Rocky Balboa. QED.
I am a patron of good movies! -but then tastes differ meaning some movie i really like mite not interest some people and vice versa , the only thing i am trying to say here is that my verdict isn't the final one but surely some food for thought. Not digressing any further let us get back to the movie in focus. What stands out in the movie??? Pretty Preity does. She looks gorgeous, evoking the insatiable lust in desperate buggers like me. The songs lyrically are pathetic but certainly ones you can dance to (the usual dhik chik). Now arises one important question : Don't these directors realise how asinine these scripts are or they think they can pass even an ordinary piece of art to the Indian viewers and get a good response - in other words underestimate us?? Yalgaar ho! and ya before i forget - I saw this movie on an uneventful birthday of mine and just to put it out there - I am 21 now, good to marry and desperate for love.
That's all folks. Adios.

Bombay Dreams

2007-06-04T04:25:00.000-07:00

Let me state a fact. Everyone wants to go to Mumbai- the city that never sleeps or atleast they say so. No one has time for anything ,they do have time but for travelling coz that is all they do. Rarely will you find a local train empty. But travelling across mumbai for someone visiting the place is nothing less than an adventure. This wouldn't have been the case if the people there weren't as helpful as they are(just thought i'd mention this coz i think i owe them one.) So one weekend i went to Mumbai. I had big plans- Lech at babes, go places,lech at babes :D. Staying there wasn't going to be a problem because some of my friends were there - these were the same guys i had planned to roam about the city with. Got there on friday night, chatted with moi freinds for a while and crashed. We had planned to get up early and go to "the Gateway of India" and stuff but got up at the IITian Standard time- around eleven in the morning, lazed around till three when we finally decided that we'll go to Juhu beach.Off we go. Now for two guys who have no idea where what is Mumbai can be quite a handfull. So we got some advice. Initially we had planned to go the whole distance by auto but around Jogeshwari we saw the auto's meter showing 60 bucks and this place was not even close to Juhu. So we decided we'll get down and go by bus. The thought of a Mumbai bus scares the hell out of me. But gladly that was the most peceful time of the day to travel.We asked people around for directions and got down at santa cruz. Then we took another bus to the santa cruz station, crossed the station(west to east) and then from there took a bus directly to Juhu. Meanwhile it had rained for sometime and the weather was awesome. Large number of people had flocked to the beach and the beach looked a picturesque site. We roamed about for sometime, my freind got really desperate lookin at the "you know what" and we started the come back journey> thi time we decided to try the mumbai local.

Time : 18:15 santa Cruz railway station. The train was a scary site. The amount it had digorged was unfathomable. Before we could even move we were pushed by people behind us in the train.

Important note: There are two lines of Mumbai locals and both of them cross at Dadar Junction. So to go to the other line you need to switch trains here.

We got down at Dadar, switched trains and finally got down at Kanjur marg at around 07:30.

We had booked tickets earlier for Pirates of the Caribbean - 3 , 10:45 show. We were joined by one more of our friends - MGM. During the auto travel to the theatre the guys started telling me about their friends at the intern place and about how one guy puts pseud(trying to show that you're some stud) with his accent adn then it happened - MGM said " This guy puts more pseud than i do". I won't ever forget this. Btw the movie is really good and worth watchin, but theatres only. After the movie we went to MGMs room where we (me and MGM) started introducing our naive friend, lets call him satch boogie for now :D, to some really good music. The day came to an end when we crashed at 5 30 in the morning. We got up very late the next day and i had to leave at 4 in the evening so there was no time to go out. It was a pretty ordinary day. This concludes this post of mine but i won't leave you without telling you y i chose to write this -
Firstly, I hope it serves as a travel guide for all newbies to Mumbai(atleast the basics have been covered , details will be taken care of in an advanced post.)
Second and last - I have nothing else to talk about.
Thats all folks - Later.

The sesmster that wasn't

2007-05-24T04:45:00.000-07:00

Time flies. Only a while back i was working for saarang and now i am sitting in an office wondering where, all the time disappeared.Now this was supposed to be the most peaceful sem - 20 credits, HS, IE......., a mech guy from IITM could get. Let's see how it turned out for yours truly. It all started with Saarang and so does every even sem. Thats probably the only thing IITians look forward to the whole year. With the saarang spirit flowing through my veins i worked extra hard. Be it LM practice, WM practice,Saarang work- i was there, i was pretty much everywhere.That was pretty much how i spent the first month. Play music was all i did the next month also. Played professionally outside insti, got paid(sadly dint get "laid").Now if you're wondering where is "acads", then trust me i was wondering the same at one point. Sem went on, the high point being me playing in the inter hostel western music competition for Ganga. Last few weeks of the semester were very eventful Maolcolm in the middle, Fifa 07 -not on my comp coz after years of service it had given up on me, and ya mugging ofcourse. Then the two most disastrous things happened

AI - I like to call her this coz this reminds people of the word "artificial".
R&AC exam : Namitha and his/her adventures.

All said and done I managed to achieve something i couldn't till date - put S in a course. For those of you who don't know what it means - The IITM grading system gives S for a 10 on 10. And i might just miss a 9.
That's all folks! (Looney Toons rocks)

Random shit

2007-05-22T05:09:00.000-07:00

Here we go! First and foremost - Nasik. Now if you're someone who goes by the first impression then nasik ain't exactly a great place. You gotta explore! I have been told by a lot of people that nasik is only good if you're here for two months or so. Anything beyond that and you're in for days and nights of boredom. The good news is, that i'm here for exactly two months, so i guess i'll get the better side of the deal. Nasik is known for its temples and hills but what shocked me most was the fact that it has a pub! Now this ain't no ordinary pub coz as soon as i stepped in i realised they were playing "Killing in the name of - RATM". Now those of you who know me very well know that i am "music crazy" and this place was like heaven for me. Guess what the next song was ......................... you can't
'twas "WALK" by PANTERA. It was then, that i decided - No more lonely nights(And the place is damn close to where i am staying). Now lets talk bussiness - chicks!!!!! I am not the guy who'll generally drool over arbit girls (:P) but this place is loaded with girls. One of my friends had once told me a japanese word for girls that look really great from the back ,ordinary or less from the front. No wonder the Japenese are so far ahead of us,they have words for all the right things, and ya I think you get the point. My apologies to all the girls reading this but then, i know no girl will read this. i guess i'll end it here. Later.