Self

Before these crowded streets
the silence of the night that prevails
the yellow moon, as if swollen with tears
it wept all day, in the sun
the loner that walks these dunes
knows no patience
sees no gain, vanity
all in vain

Winds that talk a language
surround him till,
he understands
all that is in the past is
but the present back in time;

Lost in the dream
ever prevalent sounds of yesterday
haunt his soul,
nightmares of sorts he fights
wakes up to his sordid ways
gets on with his chores
breaks off with his past
till the sun sets on him
like yesterday night

Hate and disgust

Sick and demented me!

Of idiosyncrasies and endorphins

So much comes and goes, so much for a beating heart, a numb brain and some coffee. When your life's been given a 360 it's difficult to wake up, reality might, at any point come and catch up. What you want you don't know, what you've got you don't know what to do with. Maturity is the belief in your experiences, judgment an illusion of choice. Nothing you do or ever did.

The mundane sun that rises, a trigger for life, no longer. It seems to insinuate at monotonicity that is life, the life we need, the same that kills. Compulsion is a feeling that is inside, obsession comes along. You do not understand yourself, the world judges you, but how? you wonder. Every little thing we do is scrutinized for we do it deliberately, that is what you think? We're not alone though, trust me.

All of us want different things from the life that is in control, yet we generalize. The irony of human behavior is the variation we see in people. There is no collective behavior, there is just acquired taste. This notion of similarity causes misinterpretation and as a result dissatisfaction.

Halt and think, why do i keep going this way?

Endorphins, the "hope" messengers, the illusion that it is. Time heals, endorphins doing the back-end work.

In addition to decreased feelings of pain, secretion of endorphins leads to feelings of euphoria, modulation of appetite, release of sex hormones, and enhancement of the immune response.

You're overcome, no more pain.

for (int x = 0; x < 5; x++)
{
  
   x = 2;
}

वक्त ने कर डाला है बनता धार हू!

Time stops for nobody, we're all nobodies in the greater scheme of things, and thus time goes on.
Confused is the state of mind when you wonder about things out of your control, you find yourself in a place where you're alone amongst a bunch of friends, disconnected, enervated. Life provides a stage where everyone who wishes, can perform, success is a decision you can't make or change.

Every now and then there are phases of introspection. Whenever you halt to look back, you see nothing, nothing that excited you, nothing that was inspiring, nothing. And then you know something's missing, you're as stable as you'd like to be, still not happy. The uneasiness never lets go of you, mind and body.

There is momentary happiness, when you forget all, all that you've left behind, all that's left you behind. Forgetful happyness, little drops of dew, ignorance is bliss, apathy don't care.

Achievement dampens progress, there is pressure to perform! Maturity is the mother of all disheartening. Who's the daddy! :)

O pardesi.................!

कोई ये कैसे बताये की वो तनहा क्यों है - कैफी आज़मी

दिले बरबाद से निकला नही अब तक कोई
एक लुटे घर पे दिया करता है दस्तक कोई
आस जो टूट गई फ़िर से बंधाता क्यों है
येही दुनिया है तो फ़िर ऐसी ये दुनिया क्यों है।।

Captivity unkown, a dream overblown!

Nothing recurs, it's our brain's attempt at finding patterns. No behavior is consistent as such or in comparison. Our minds have been trained a certain way, still we think different. Everyone has their influences, growing up is all about that. No two people can be brought up exactly the same, a thought experiment should be enough to validate, no two people were born the same.

Language has consistency, words have meanings, sentences do too. It still is largely dependent on interpretation, how we interpret things is again a reflection of our thought process. Control could drive such behavioral patterns, only if we had enough of it. Lack of control stems out of randomness that we are not able to interpret because we're too busy looking for patterns.

Isn't it a vicious loop that we're all tangled up in?

Emotions take the better of our brains, all clarity is then lost. Deception is a mere misinterpretation caused by this haziness. What we see is a picture we make for ourselves and is at times far from what is real. We believe what we want to believe, four leaf clover. In search of consistency we often fall prey to what is now famously known as "Retrospective Distortion" and the triplet of opacity.

We've not been given a world to live in but an illusion of reality. Love and hate are conspiracies that we're all a part of, to blur our vision, to keep us away from something we do not know.

Surreal reality, a living nightmare.

A state of trance: Dance when you get the chance

Life presents opportunities here and there.
Staying prepared might not be the answer, the complete answer at least.
Your fate is what you make of it, rest is regret.

I'd like to ask you to live and learn but then you'll end up playing catch-up. At some point you need to DO something, unique. That is what makes successful people, they make opportunities. But then there are people out there with no ambitions, really, there are.